The Bittersweet Side of Mother’s Day

For some of us, Mother’s Day can a be a bittersweet day for different reasons, and that’s true for me. I often wish I could just disappear for the day, and I sort of do, but if I truly disappeared I wouldn’t have to feel the feelings I feel every year. I had planned to write this on Saturday, but I ended up being too emotional over the weekend, ironically, it started because there were 5 or 6 people I don’t know in real life reaching out to people like me on Facebook. That’s the most sensitivity and support I’ve ever seen from those who are mothers and have no issues with Mother’s day, but it brought out the tears in me.

Christmas is hard and our little sweetheart’s birthday is hard, but Mother’s day has it’s own, more complicated issues. The mother I grew up with lived in so much fear, that she isolated herself from us and tried too hard to control everything about our lives. If only she could have realized that she was only pushing us further away. There’s more to the story, but that’s all I need to say about the estranged relationship for now. I met my first mother when I was 17 and just began a real relationship with her a couple of years ago. Mis-leadings and miscommunications prolonged our true reunion, but I am so blessed to finally have her in my life! We haven’t been able to have children of our own, and we no longer have the little sweetheart girl God entrusted to us for 16 months. as we pursued adoption. She was 4 when she went back to her first mom the Friday before Mother’s Day 11 years ago. So, for many reasons, Mother’s Day is difficult for me.

Before I married, I prayed for several years about the man I would marry and the family I would marry into. I knew I needed a family I could fit in with and celebrate life events with. So now I have a great  mother-in-law, and when we are with her on the day, it really helps give me another focus. This year I also have my first mother and that helps also. It’s so great to have her in my life!!

I first saw these photos of myself when I was about 18 years old. I had no idea what I looked like as a baby before that!!

So, although I still can’t bring myself to attend church on Mother’s Day, I absolutely love that our church spoils mothers on that day!!! I WANT them too! But I just can’t take the offhanded greetings of “Happy Mother’s Day” from people and the exclusion I feel. It’s just too hard. I’ve had people close to me, who love me, share a heartfelt and loving card or sentiment for that day and it means so much to me. But often times, many people are just saying the expected greeting to everyone, and although they don’t mean to hurt me, it still hurts. So I find it easier to stay away, especially if I suddenly burst into tears!

This year I’m so thankful for the thoughtful words of people I only know through their blogs and Facebook, for reaching out, having a great mother-in-law and having my first mother in my life! Mostly I’m thankful that God is always here for me and offers me comfort and strength every day!

I am thankful I was remembered. I wasn’t forgotten. A tiny bit of the loneliness was eased. I didn’t feel so alone in this path I didn’t choose for myself. Someone recognized we don’t all get the happy ending we’ve longed for since we were children ourselves. I felt thankful.

Ex 15:2  “The LORD is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation; He is my God, and I will praise Him; My father’s God, and I will exalt Him.”
Psalm 28:7   “The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him.”

3:1  “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.”

If you’re looking for the some of the comfort and understanding  I found this year, for yourself or a friend, you may find a bit of it HERE, HERE or HERE.

And HERE’S a special conference I went to this year, called “CHOOSE JOY.” It was a fantastic way to be with others with similar struggles and challenges.

And HERE and HERE are a couple of others posts where I talk more about my experiences.

I pray that God will give strength and comfort to any of you who may be going through infertility issues, adoption issues or mother issues.

 

Modest Monday: Kid’s Edition

We had another busy week and were out of town, visiting with family and didn’t take outfit photos. So I thought I would scour my photos for some modest ideas for kids for this weeks Modest Monday (on Friday :>). I’ve also included a couple of teenager outfits.

Adorable, sweet and modest ideas for kids!

And if some of these are not quite modest enough, add a shirt or tank underneath!

Have a great weekend everyone!!

A Day Full of Fun and Pretties

It’s been a busy couple of weeks with some wonderful time with visiting family from my side and then from my Sweetie’s side. Then today, our desert-y town felt beachy, with cool breezes and more of a beach feel. I love it when we have this kind of day! I had a long lunch visit with a sweet friend, and as I left her house I found two little gems I didn’t expect to find here. Maybe in Portland, but not here in this desert-y town..lovely pink flowers on the side of a house (Cecil Bruners, I think) and roses along a white, picket fence. LOVE X A MILLION!!! Very much more my style!!

My day was topped off my an encouraging and challenging Bible Study closing James and preparing for 1 Peter with overviews of the lives of Corrie Ten Boom and Elisabeth Elliot!!!  For a day that emerged after very little sleep, it turned out great!! :>

 

 

 

Hello Monday with Lisa Leonard

Healthy Energy Cookie

This recipe is one I found during my juicing searches and I thought it could be a healthy snack that would give me energy and help me deal with hunger.  Especially once I added the pulp, more substantial food. I think I originally found it on Pinterest, found it again, but can’t really remember for sure how it popped up onto my radar.

Anyway, the first time I made them, I only had quick cook steel oats because we don’t really keep regular oats around anymore. I  recently decided to give the quick ones a try, thinking my Sweetie might be willing to make them for himself if they were faster. I usually just end up making extra and he heats the leftovers up in the morning. I am addicted to regular Steel Cut Oats, and these just don’t have the nutty crunch! I was hoping I could could use them up in these cookies, but they were not good at all! So I finally made them the right way and they were better, a bit rubbery, but something I could get used to for a healthier cookie. Something I think I can get used to, but they NEED the chocolate chips!!! If you love banana, you will probably love them!

Super easy, using only 3 ingredients, you can whip these up in no time! And the kids can help!!

Healthy Energy Cookie

2 Large bananas, mashed

1 cup quick cook oats

1/4 cup chocolate chips

**Mix the bananas and oats together until combined, add the chips and spoon onto cookie sheet with a teaspoon. I flatten them a bit, so the middle cooks better. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Makes 9 small cookies. They’re tastiest still while warm. Enjoy! :>

Do you have an easy,  healthy recipe to share?

Seeing Our Courtship Days Through the Eyes of Family

Ever since the first Valentine’s Day card, we’ve had a mouse and mushroom theme, my Sweetie and I!

We spent the weekend with family and had a FABULOUS time!! It’s always so fun to get together and this time we all met up at my in-laws in Southern California and it felt so much like our old Christmas gatherings before the cousins married and spent Christmases elsewhere. We were all feeling nostalgic and happy! A wonderful time together!

In the driveway at my in-law’s house.

The “young-ins” tooled around Downtown Disney on Saturday night, making it seem even more like our old gatherings where we’d ALL troupe off to Disneyland, amidst all of the beautiful Christmas decorations. The highlights of the night were the Swing Dancers and the Beignets! I love hanging out with people who love the same things I do! :> We ALL wanted to watch those dancers forever, not just THIS dancer! They also loved the Rainforest Cafe.

It was dark, but we were respectful and didn’t use the flash. This is with my phone using Instagram.

I think I’ve said this before, but my cousin-in-law and I are more like sisters and best friends, and she and my Sweetie have always been close. I became friends with her before I even knew he existed! She’s just great, which makes her a perfect person to take a vacation with, which we are!! We are going to have so much fun! Yay! :> ANYWAY, we both LOVE taking photos and it’s great to meander around with someone who understands that, because some people get kind of irritated by it. We both did a lot of Instagramming over the weekend! We felt better once we saw that we were both going overboard with it!!

Driveway flowers.

On Sunday. at one point, the 4 ladies ended up in the living room chatting without the men, and somehow we were talking about the days after I met my Sweetie, but we weren’t committed to each other yet. My Sweetie’s Aunt told me a couple of things I didn’t remember, my cousin-in-law had an insight I never wondered if she had, yet it fascinated me just the same and we reminisced about how I needed her to meet my Sweetie and she needed us to get the job in the shop her future husband came into to meet her! Life and connections are so fascinating! I felt like that was a fun and special time together, just hours before we had to head for home. Such sweet people and moments shared. Little treasures from God to us. :>

A perfect match!

I thoroughly enjoyed that moment, but I don’t know if I would have shared it here or just allowed it to slip away as life closes in again. But when I saw Kendra’s email reminder about Matrimonial Monday at A Proverbs 31 Wife, I knew this was a great moment to share. And sharing helps me remember for myself. Writing things down keeps them fresher and more clear in our minds, and helps ensure that we’ll have them even when loved ones are gone. It’s so much fun hearing about certain events from many different viewpoints. Everyone sees something the others miss!! These are the joys of FAMILY…and MARRIAGE!!

Have you learned new things from your family about other family members or you and your sweetie? What makes your family special?

Hello Monday with Lisa Leonard

My New Sanitas

 

My New Sanitas have arrived! I tried the Marcelle style before in a patent leather, but they were so stiff I could barely walk. My knees were in so much pain I had to return them. But I really wanted a closed toe, closed heel style, so I decided to give them another try. It makes it easier knowing that my favorite Sanita deals website offers a 2 month walking trial for those too far away to try on in store. So, $40 and 2 months to walk around in my normal life, not just indoors? I went for it!

 

And guess what? I LOVE this pair! I guess the leather is softer so I have the give I need along with the support I need! So far, so good!! I think this pair will be staying with me!!! :>

 

Do you like Sanitas or Danskos? Sanita is a Danish company and the one who used to make Danskos until Dansko moved their work to China a few years ago. Visit the Footprints website for great deals! It’s my favorite site for these brands!

 

 

Recipe Exchange: Yummy Apple Cranberry Juice and “Pulp” Soup

Last week I did some juicing for the health of my kidneys and liver, which I’ll write about in detail later. After more research, it turned out other things were better than juicing, including the fiber in the pulp from the juicing. In the process of looking around at different recipes, I came across a different idea I thought I would try. I am NOT a cranberry lover – YUCK!!! But I take cranberry capsules for my kidneys. Now here’s the shocker! I made this juice and fell in LOVE! It is super yummy and delicious!!! So much better than anything you can buy in the store. I will drink this just for fun!!! It turns out, a cup of this only equals one capsule, but who cares? I’ll just drink it for it’s yumminess, with a bit of extra kidney help thrown in on the side!! :>

I started with partial recipe in a comment thread, used my imagination and my blender and came up with this yumminess!

Cranberry Apple Juice

2 sm or 1 lg apple(s)
1 1/4 cups of dried cranberries

1 – 1/2 cups water

Pour water into blender, add cranberries and pulse until smooth(ish). Cut apples into wedges, add to blender and pulse until smooth(ish). Strain out the pulp, add ice and be prepared to ENJOY!! Mmm, mmm, good!

I made lots of Green Juice, which means I had a lot of “green” pulp leftover. I researched uses for the pulp, but didn’t like any of them, so I thought I would just try the idea in back of my head of Pulp Soup. Easy and probably edible, I figured, since I was okay with the flavor of the juice! And that’s exactly how it turned out. You get used to it, and when I added Pulp Crackers I made, it felt like I finally had a meal!! Later I added dry toast instead, and I actually thought it was pretty yummy! So it may not be your favorite “soup” in the world, but definitely doable.

1 – 1 1/2 cups Green Pulp (see below)

1 1/2 -2 cups Chicken Broth

Optional: salt or seasonings if your routine allows

Heat all ingredients in a pot and serve!

**My favorite “Green Juice

2 cup water ( I like my juice thinner)

5-6 Lg leaves of kale

20 baby carrots or 2 average size

1 apple

6 inches cuke

Add each ingredient in order to blender, pulsing after each addition until smooth(ish), then strain and serve! Save the pulp for soup!

Do you have any unorthodox recipes in you repertoire? Happy eating!